Nerf Guns and Weirditys

I haven’t seen my boys for 3 whole weeks. Work commitments n my new job meant that  wasn’t allowed to do my usual of coming to Mersin for the whole of the school holidays and work while here. So after a rather stressful farewell, husband took Smelly, Fatso, and Lai Lai off by himself on a 3 week road trip. They went from Istanbul to Ankara to Samsum to Ankara, and finally arriving in Mersin only a few days before me. And while they were away I arranged work trips to avoid the horrible silent house that felt very unnatural.

After they left, I had a week in Devon, and as great as that might sound it actually involved going from hotel to hospital sight and back for 3 days, 1 day visiting a secure mental health facility in gorgeous surroundings, and 2 days of driving in holiday traffic (instead of getting the smelly train). It also involved the worst food I have ever eaten, mostly unidentifiable and full of salt, and to top it all being tortured by a brie sandwich that I simply didn’t understand. I did stay in a lovely hotel, and to compensate for not having a view of Exeter cathedral (fire exit of a dodgy nightclub was what I got) my room had a bath in it. Yep, that’s right a roll-top bath in the room, not the bathroom — that was separate.

After Exeter I went to York, with work, and enjoyed some very good company and beer. But I did over do it on the cheese again–at least it wasn’t bloody brie. If I never eat brie again I won’t be sad, which is a shame because up until the mortifying sandwich incident I quite liked it.

So back to the empty house and the realisation that it was highly unlikely I was going to get ‘all those jobs done’. I did manage to paint the front door, which was almost a disaster as it then stuck to the frame–the paint was dry, I bought a quick drying paint that promised to dry in an hour and actually left the door open for over 4. After days of having to ram the door open, I tried candle wax to no avail before thinking that maybe vaseline would help. Yay I now have a well lubricated non sticky door that opens without me ramming it with my shoulder.

One job I couldn’t avoid was trying to get a  birthday pressie for Lai Lai. Having 3 boys I have so much crap in the house, what on earth do I get for him. Then I had a suggestion, Nerf super soakers (posh water pistols). And that’s what caused all the problems.

Last year, Smelly had sneaked a small Nerf gun into the hand luggage. So we all get hauled over at security check and told we have to ditch the offending item as it’s a replica gun. Mortified, Smelly learns a hard lesson. Mum does not it would appear. La la la, off I go to buy Nerf water guns, thinking yay great idea, when 2 days before I travel I remember and think perhaps this could end badly. So I call the airline, THY. They have a special baggage option on their irritating automated system. I get mildly worried when the guy clearly can’t understand me and is completely unaware that I am asking a question rather than making a statement. When he finally figures out (I tell him “No, I’m asking YOU”) that I’m asking if I’m allowed to pack Nerf guns into the hold luggage, not hand, alarm bells should have started to ring when he did that usual Turkish thing of saying yes everything will be fine, no problem. Idiot that I am I believed him. So into my suitcase goes one large and 2 small Nerfs. Not till I’m on my way to the airport do I get a notification on my FB post that a friend had had the very same thing removed from her luggage on and internal flight, the same one I would be going on. Slight alarm bells and panic.

I get to check in, and in my increasingly stressed out state, I forget to tell them. In fairness they asked me no security questions as I confused them with an issue of the VIP lounge. Seems THY are gradually removing perks for family entitled if you’re not travelling with the perky person. A few phone calls and Husband sorts that bit out. I then think that perhaps I should warn someone about the Nerfs, just to double check and not find that £40 of birthday present has been confiscated. Good job I did, the THY guy (not a Turk, sorry, a very definite Mancunian) tells me NO, they have to come out. That begins the saga of getting my suitcase back. Time passes and it becomes blindingly obvious that there will be no way I can get the hopper bus back to the car, to stow the offending items, get the bus back to the airport AND catch the flight. Panic! The guy tells me that there is a left luggage but with a daily charge, that would cost more than the darn things are worth. But then a cock up saves the day! They can’t get my suitcase and bring it back to the office, I have to go to the gate while they get it off the plane to take out the Nerfs, and they promise to store them in their office till our return. Which begs the question, if it got on to the plane surely they made it through security. I don’t question, I do as I am told. They shall have their Nerfs, but in Blighty when it’s too darn cold to really enjoy playing with them–it was 17 degrees when I left, in August! FFS, summer has been a tad crappy.

Nerf guns saved, I did manage to get a coffee and a gross croissant, I hate Starbucks but I had been up since 5am and no food or drink so it was that or nothing. I almost miss my plane getting that darn thing. Fun fun.

So there I am on the plane, doing my best not to freak out when I look up and think now I have truly gone mental. One of the flight attendants is dressed up as a chef! What? Yep, that’s right a chef. THY have decided that passengers are so dumb that they’ll be fooled into thinking that the stinking pile of pooh that are airline meals are actually freshly cooked on board by this person in a ridiculous, almost clown-like, chef’s (and I use that term loosely) outfit. Admittedly she doesn’t seem to do any of the other cabin staff jobs, just serves food with an inane grin that appears almost glued to her face.

It does make me wonder what other ‘innovations’ THY will come up with in the future, but as a sip my dire Cankaya white wine, which reminds me of why I never drink Turkish wine, and contemplate that I have a ‘discovered’ meal because Husband forgot to put veggie on my booking (again, that cock up is a whole other story), I focus on the fact that in a few hours I will see my boys again.

I didn’t flip out on the plane, so thats a good start. I do get to go in the VIP lounge, and I get an upgrade on the Adana leg of the flight. But the best bit, was getting off the plane, being driven up to the doors of the VIP salon of Adana airport and seeing my boys at the door leaping up and down with excitement. Smelly, Fatso, and Lai Lai survived 3 weeks without me but missed me bucket loads.

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About 5yearsmybrainhurtsalot

Once a stay at home mum in Ankara, now a working mum who makes regular lengthy trips to Mersin with my brood
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4 Responses to Nerf Guns and Weirditys

  1. Pippa says:

    I didn’t cry at the end of this, really. Okay, maybe a little… Enjoy your time over there x

  2. janegundogan says:

    A Nerf Gun is no doubt an item that should be prohibited from air travel. I mean all those dangerous water fights – its a disaster waiting to happen!

    I too dislike the Turkish wine but my taste buds are now disciplined to accept the swill LOL!

    Enjoy this gorgeous sunshine (probably a real treat). Im off to Susanoglu for some lazing myself.

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