Stop! Computer says no. Rebooting

After writing about insomnia yesterday and my long-term struggle with sleep, I think it triggered something because my body just seemed to shut down.

I’d got up, had my 2 iced coffees, made breakfast for everyone and tucked in. But when I made it to the shower not long after, it all came crumbling down.

I just suddenly felt sick and overwhelmed with exhaustion. It was so sudden it felt weird.

I don’t think it was anything physical. More like I hadn’t realised how much stress I’d been holding on to and for how long. Stress about Smelly’s impending exam results, leaving him behind, him starting a new job and travelling to get there, as well as the horrid day waiting to see if he’d got into uni, encouraging him with back up plans and options. Usual mum stuff. Then there was the me stress, worrying about my new role and my new manager, stressing about leaving Smelly if things weren’t certain, about flying alone and having to do the transfer alone in an unfamiliar airport for the first time (yes, I know my privilege at having been ferried through VIP without a care in the past). Then freaking out on the Adana flight, just a tad. And those are just the things I can think of

Plus, since arriving it felt like I hadn’t stopped. So far we’ve been to the beach and had a day at the pool, been to the dentist and sorted out my Turkish sim.

So when my body apparently reacted and said no more, I decided to listen. Told M that today was a do nothing day and he’d have to entertain Fatso and Lai. And then went back to bed.

Very unusually for me, that is where I stayed all day. I have to be quite ill to literally do nothing. I knew I wasn’t ill though, just exhausted. Smelly had travelled safely down south for work, I’d made it safely here, I’d spent time with the others and so could just step off the train for a bit.

I read a bit but mostly just got hugs from Lai and Fatso and drifted off to sleep in fits and starts.

By 5 I was back to normal. Although I did still feel a bit like lead though. Good timing for dinner and a night swim.

Sadly, the powers that be (read stealers of joy) have yet again changed the rules and the pool now closes at 9 not 10. My night time swims are no longer the late night havens of peace but noisy with kids who, in my view, should be in bed because it’s my pool and my time. Fatso says I’m being completely unreasonable about this. I, however, don’t feel like being reasonable – I feel like being petulant at the stealers of joy.

All sorted and system rebooted we’re off to Kadincik vadi today. Kadin means woman and cik is often a diminutive so I’m reading that as Little Women Valley and I don’t care if M tells me that’s wrong. I like the idea of it being called that. Never been there before but it’s high in the mountains not far from where my old friend Rob has his Yayla, but he’s currently in the UK so no trip there this year. Turns out M has a friend who is a mountain guide (never bothered to tell me this before) so lets see how good this recommendation is. There should be water; rivers and reservoirs, which is always a good start.